The purpose of this blog

The intention of the blog is to bring together those that believe in God the Eternal Father and His Son Jesus Christ. It is a place to share our personal experiences and feelings to ultimately testify that He is real, that He is aware of each of us and ever watchful in the details of our lives.

Monday, October 1, 2012

How Pam Knows



The Answer

I was alone.  Usually Tamra and I both walked to church together, but not this morning.  We were always together, but I guess Tamra must have been sick.  I walked past Longhurst’s home.  It used to be a basement home, but they had added the top part.  Then there was the scary old lady’s house.  It was half a house, a basement house with black tar paper for a roof on it. It was a house not grown-up yet, just a bit of it above the ground, with stairs down to the front door.  That house was waiting for the upstairs to be built.  The lady that lived in that house was OLD, and the only time I saw her was on Halloween when we trick or treated.  She seemed really grumpy, but she gave out delicious homemade cookies and apples.  So, even though she was grouchy and a little frightening to me, we trick or treated there anyway.  You see, we were only allowed to trick or treat to people we knew, only along our side of the block. 
It must have been summer, I wasn’t very old, but I can’t say exactly how old I was, maybe eight years old, possibly, 1959-ish.  Terry, my little brother, was still too young to walk with us to church.  In those days Mother sent us to Sunday School in the morning to walk the three blocks to the seventeenth ward building by ourselves.  She stayed home to make dinner.  Sunday Dinner was our best meal of the week.  Mother often cooked a roast, I didn’t like meat very much, but, it was still a special meal.  I liked the care Mom put into it.  She was great! 
But today, I was walking by myself.  I was a deep thinker, even though I was young.  It was Mother I was thinking about.  How could she know He was there?  That morning I heard her talking to someone.  I wondered who could be in her bedroom?  Dad was already gone to work, who was she talking to?  I paused in the doorway, Oh, what a feeling, thick and sweet and sacred, coming out of Mom’s room.  There, I saw Mother on her knees, she was praying, but her praying wasn’t like mine.  She prayed out loud.  I couldn’t do that, my thoughts were so private, I could not speak them, only, think-pray.  I marveled that she could speak her thoughts vocally, wish I could do that.  And most amazing of all, she spoke like He was right there.  Just, how did she know that?  How did she know that He could hear her? 
I stopped walking and hung on the silver bar-barrier-guard that lined the side walk over the canal that flowed swiftly beneath me.  The water was rippling, dancing, moving so fast.  It looked clear, but brown, that was because the bottom had brown weeds and mud. 
My thoughts flitted back to this morning, to the feeling, to the picture in my mind of Mum kneeling, praying.  How can He know how to answer prayers?  How can he understand Me?  He lived so long ago, it’s not like today.  It’s so different now, we have cars, and black and white TV’s, and toasters, and lots of electrical stuff.  And for Pete’s sake, I’m a girl.  I was very aware, even at that young age, of the difference between boys and girls.  Boys certainly didn’t think the same as I did, that alone made me wonder how He could actually understand how I felt.  How could He know exactly what my life was like? 
….It came as a complete thought, a paragraph answer, a surprising bolt of knowledge, complete and tidy, shot from heaven right into my mind, while I stood on the sidewalk bridge, looking down at the brown water rushing away.  There were No words, just a pure ray of warm, peaceful knowledge.  I knew immediately that somehow, even though we lived ages, even eons apart, that He experienced generically, things I had experienced.  Wow! He knew how I felt!,… that was incredible!  My heart-whispered, think-prayers were heard and understood after all.  Maybe someday,……. I could learn to trust Him and pray like my Mum did. 
This answer was foundational, much like the basement house, waiting for the upper level to be built.  This bit of knowledge given to a young girl thinking and walking to church would be the beginning, the foundation, of a deep faith in Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.  A faith that would take her through trials and pain, yet she would know that HE IS THERE, waiting to help, waiting for her to come to Him and ask for guidance and strength to travel through whatever circumstance she faced.