There are so many that I cannot deny. Trying to pinpoint one is hard. The thing that is most prominent in my mind right now is my baby.
From before I conceived, I felt that he was watching over our
family...waiting for the right time to make his entrance. On days where
I can hardly smile because I'm sleep deprived and stressed out of my
mind, this one month old will smile and talk to me as if to say "It's
alright Mom. Things will be okay." The warmth and peace a newborn
brings is undeniable. There is a heightened sense of reverence by all
who come in contact with them. A reverence for life. How they are
created is a miracle in and of itself. Then what they bring into a
family-their undeniable personalities. I have written a detailed
description of what I felt each of my babies personalities were like
when they were not yet born, or shortly after. And to this day, they
have been right on. They are incredible individuals with spiritual
gifts as well as weaknesses from the beginning. Often their gifts are
within their weaknesses...my oldest son is extra sensitive. He is so
attuned to everyone's needs around him-and worries often about the
safety of his little sisters (has nightmares about not being able to
protect them)-because of heightened sensitivity, he feels when things
are off-in the earth, with storms coming, and with people-and has a
great amount of empathy for anyone struggling-also struggles to keep his
own anxieties and emotions in check. His capacity to love others is
amazing, and there is no limit he won't go to be sure his sisters are
happy and taken care of. These children who have been sent to me are
straight from a loving Father in Heaven who has placed them in my care
(unbelievable...). And I learn from them all the time. They say things
at times that are way beyond their years- their intelligence is not of
this world. I know that.
Another example is when my daughter had just been
born. I had been going back and forth in my mind wondering if I had
made the right decision in naming her that. My husband wanted to name
our first daughter after his Grandmother who had passed away some years
before (they had a special connection). I wasn't confident in the name
itself, but I understood his sentiment, and thought it wouldn't hurt to
name my daughter after a great lady.
But I was still regretting not giving more of a
fight for perhaps a name I wanted. When Ginnie was a couple days old,
and asleep in her bassinet, I was startled out of a deep sleep. At
first I was scared, but soon my feeling turned to one of peace. I
sensed that a glorious being was standing at the foot of Ginnie's
bassinet. I felt who she was- a beautiful and glorious woman-someone
that I can't describe very well. Later on, I realized that it was my
husband's Grandmother-coming to visit her name's sake.
I recalled my husband telling me the story of when
his Grandmother first got sick when he was seven years old-him being
worried that she would never meet his children. She reassured him she
would. Perhaps this was her way of showing him she kept her promise.
