I could basically write my life’s story in answer to the question of “How
do you know God lives?”
But, I’ll
spare you and start with this experience. ;)
I love the imagery Glenn used about God being like Oz behind a curtain,
and revealing Himself in
Glenn’s
life. I love it because I know it’s true
that God is near all that seek Him. The universe is very largebut God is near.
When we have a prayer in our heart and do His will in our lives we feel Him at
home, at work, on a walk, at the store, or whenever our greatest need is. When
I pray and put myself at God’s feet the Holy Ghost wraps me with His love, I
know that God is near, that He listens, and then He speaks answers to my heart.
Stephan and I have struggled to start our family. About a year ago my
heart and mind
were
obsessed by the grief this caused me. This obsession caused me to focus on what
was lacking in my
life. Stephan was in the Air Force ROTC, training to
become an officer after graduation from college. He
submitted
paperwork for a 2012 graduation and commissioning in the Air Force. We didn’t
know it but
the
paperwork never got submitted. He was in the books as graduating in 2011. No
one noticed it until
after the
cadets for year 2011 had made bids for their careers. His commander told him
there was
nothing he
could do. He either needed to separate from the Air Force or finish his degree
in 2011. Aside
from that,
there was no time to finish the coursework for the major and minor Stephan had
chosen AND
finish by
2011. I was very upset by this. Because of my lack of perspective at the time I
blamed others for
the
situation and tried to figure out how we could get the approval we needed to
finish in 2012.
Meanwhile,
Stephan sat down and figured out that if he took a full semester load straight
through Fall,
Winter,
Spring, and Summer terms he could finish his degree without his minor in August
2011. So
that’s what
he did. We decided to stay in the Air Force so Stephan went to work! It was
hard on him but
he is very
organized, so it worked out. I still had a bad attitude about this until we
reached our first Air
Force Base.
We went from scraping through college together to having all of our needs and
more, this
was such a
relief. Additionally, I had nearly “everything is covered” health insurance!
This meant that I
could
vigorously pursue our fertility situation. The graduation date fiasco was
actually an answer to my
prayers; an
answer to the numerous prayers that came from the deepest desire of my heart. I
was too
negative to
realize all of the implications for good an earlier start in Stephan’s career
would have on us.
One day I
just sat after a prayer and a multitude of my blessings from the previous year
poured into my
mind. I felt
so humbled that Heavenly Father in his mercy still saw fit to bless me despite
my lack of
gratitude.
Heavenly Father is a loving and merciful God. I know He lives! I know these
blessings in my life
and more are
possible through Jesus Christ and His atoning sacrifice. Regardless of what my
life may
lack, there
is nothing more beautiful than knowledge that the Savior lives, that my soul
can be restored
from sin,
and that I can live again with God and my family because of the atonement.
There is nothing
more
beautiful for all of humankind than this truth.
